Pamela Daniels


Abused for 13 years.
Age: 36


His behavior changed rapidly. I know I should have recognized it, but when you’re inside a situation it’s hard to get perspective.

One day my daughter called me crying saying my ex had threatened to hit her in the head with a hammer. I called the police and they removed him from the house and I got a restraining order the very next day.

After a month, I went to the judge and asked him to rescind the order, because I couldn’t imagine this man hurting us. Then on January 13, my whole life changed forever.

I heard the policeman say, “Oh this is just a domestic violence case”, five feet from where my child laid dead

When my ex entered the house, my daughter was awake. I heard an argument. I came into the living area to try and calm her down. Her eyes were wide with fear – she could see him approaching with a gun. When I turned around shots rang out. I managed to dial 911. I couldn’t talk because [my face] was shot up, but they traced the call home. The police came, then the medical team.
I heard a policeman say, “Oh this is just a domestic violence case.” He was just 5 feet from where I was fighting for my life and where my child lay dead. There was nothing “just” about it.

My entire face was reconstructed, because the bullets literally tore it apart. I was in a coma for almost a 2 months. When I woke up, I was hit with the reality of the situation. My brother and sister refused to bury my daughter without me. I had to go to therapy to learn to use my muscles, but a lot of it they couldn’t fix. I can’t blow my nose. My lips are still numb and when I’m eating and drinking I don’t know if something is too hot until I get a blister. It’s been a struggle, but I survived.

We must get people to understand that they’re not in this by themselves

I’ve talked to women who dated my ex and they mentioned how he was violent with them. Had I known he’d been abusive with other women, I wouldn’t have made him a part of my life.
The first time somebody asked me to talk about what happened, it was hard and I mean very hard. That tile I didn’t because I was embarrassed and didn’t want to seem like I was stupid for dating a man like this. But if it changes one life, it matters to me. So when I saw a friend of mine share a post that Dell Mitchell made, I felt like it was time. I don’t know this young man, but he seems to have a lot of wisdom and what he’s doing I salute him. At first I was a little apprehensive because he’s a man wanting to help women like me have a voice and speak out about domestic violence and I just want to tell him Thank you for creating a platform where stories like mine and other can be posted and we can help each other.

Domestic violence is such a personal issue and it’s a secret. We must get people to understand that they’re not in it by themselves.

My goal is to meet women and men who hears my story and tell me it has changed them for the better. It gives them the courage to reach out and ask for help before it gets to this point.

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